Burglary

Burglary is the third episode of the second series of the sitcom Bottom, it first aired on October 15th 1992

Plot
The episode starts with Richie reading the newspaper at the table when he suddenly hears the door and runs over to the ironing board to pretend he is ironing the clothes, Eddie barges in and Richie questions Eddie what time he calls it, Eddie rolls up his trouser leg and confirms the time is half past 1, Richie asks where he had been and Eddie starts creating excuses such as going to a car swapping party in which all the men stand in a circle and throw their wives in the middle and they pick the one they want and the wife escorts you to your car, he also uses the excuse that he was struck by lightning but Richie knows Eddie is drunk and when he asks how he got drunk on the £1.75 which he had been sent with to collect two fish suppers Eddie explains there was a sale on at the Chemists which was 25p a bottle for old spice.

Eddie proceeds to then drink the bleach out of the kitchen cupboard by the oven believing it to be alcohol and passes out, Richie tries to resuscitate him several times by slapping, using the iron on his face and taking off his shoe in hopes the smell of his foot will awake him. They don't work and so Richie attaches a noose to him and hoists him upstairs to his bedroom, when arriving at the top of the stairs Eddie awakes and goes into his bedroom followed by Richie a couple of seconds later who goes into his own bedroom.

Seconds later noises can be heard from downstairs awaking Richie, Richie then wakes up Eddie punching him (Richie) in the face, Richie explains there is someone down in the lounge and once Eddie soon realizes there are burglars downstairs he starts screaming, Eddie gets his revolver from his bedroom which his mother had left him with, he attempts to shoot off the lock of the hatch to go into the attic but Richie objects to the idea and stands on Eddie's back to reach it as they have no ladder since the police took it away when the nurses moved next door.

Richie ends up dangling from the lantern due to Eddie moving and Eddie switches on the light but Richie is electrocuted and in the process falls down the stairs, Richie panics believing the burglars have got him and Eddie fires his revolver to ward them off,Richie then realizes he has landed on a burglar and so they both take the burglar into the lounge, they sit him on a chair, they then think of how to tie him up there isn't rope and Eddie suggests Blu Tak but instead they tie him up using sellotape.

They try and interrogate the burglar but neither know how to do this so Richie instead phones the Police to inform them of the burglary but Eddie finds the bag full of silverware and Richie uses an excuse by ending the call to say they don't need them because he has been sleep telephoning again. They believe it all to be worth thousands and decide to flog it so they can go to the Bahamas but as they are leaving Eddie reminds them of the burglar and start planning how to get rid of him, Eddie suggests they kill the burglar, Richie agrees to the idea. Eddie suggest they give him the old fish fingers that have been in the fridge for months only to realize they both ate them on Thursday so instead Richie suggests to feed the burglar the pigeon pellets the council put on the roof to get rid of the pigeons.

Eddie climbs out on the roof to get the pellets whilst Richie makes the tea, Eddie falls through the roof but neither are bothered by it as they will be living in the Bahamas, Richie asks what cup has the poison in and Eddie tells him its the yellow one but all the cups are yellow so they end up giving the burglar all three cups of the tea and Richie shoves a pencil up Eddie's nose. After a small chat the burglar vomits and there is a knock at the door which is the police.

Richie answers the door whilst Eddie disposes off the body, Richie tries to explain they aren't needed as he makes out they were never burgled due to him sleep telephoning but the police enter the flat anyway to check, one officer discovers Eddie reading the paper upside down and with the pencil up his nose, Eddie says he has been sleep doodling, the police man shouts at Richie and tells him off, they live and Richie discovers the burglar is on the roof.

As they discuss how to get the burglar down from the roof the other burglar enters and knocks out both Richie and Eddie who awake to find all the furniture and possessions are gone and they are strapped to chairs with mouse traps in front of their genitals,sellotaped to Eddie's knee is a note saying Sue Carpenter which the reaction of them both drops their guard and causes the mouse traps to trigger and the episode ends with them screaming in pain

Cast
Rik Mayall

Ade Edmonson

Rupert Bates

Paul Bradley

Jonathan Stratt

Tip Tipping

Errors
In the first series episode S'up Eddie said he didn't like fish fingers but in this episode he suggests the give the Burglar the old fish fingers from the fridge that have been in the fridge for months and are stale only to find that he and Richie and eaten them on Thursday

In the live stage shows its implied Eddie cannot read or write but in this episode he is seen to read the paper despite it being upside down